You know you're Australian if.....



1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.



2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.



3. You think it's normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin.



4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers

stuffed in your wallet or purse.



5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for

something illegal such as watering the garden.



6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case

when he first attends school.



7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often

and with whom.



8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs'

refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.



9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.



10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.



11. You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.



12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to

Maccas.'



13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways

with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.



14. You call your best friend 'a total ba$tard' but someone you really,

truly despise is just 'a bit of a ba$tard'.



15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.



16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.



17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice

as big as its $2 coin.



18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy

Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.



19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.



20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff

up, at which point they again become Kiwis.



21. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'.



22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any

rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.



23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as

the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.



24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not

spelt with a 'u'.



25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.



26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in

the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a

pittance.



27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like

them.



28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order

takeaway fluently in every Asian language.



29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is

always polite.



30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.



31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.



32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.



33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for

beach cricket.



34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they

call 'Anzac cookies'.



35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.



36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally

strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.



37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black

tracky-daks, suitably laundered.



38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.



39. When working in a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need

to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.



40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem

and then have trouble remembering the second.



41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in

the government's new test for migrants. laugh

cheers









Please do not PM me asking for support. Please post your questions in the appropriate forums, as the replies it may receive may help all members, not just the individual member.
Kindest Regards, Darryl grin