Need help?


Search OutdoorKing by entering Key Words Below



Who's Online Now
2 members (Dandare, NormK), 80 guests, and 192 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Online Spare Parts


Online Store


Newest Topics
Gardeners Choice with a Chonda
by NormK - 14/09/24 06:53 PM
Help identifying Scott Bonnar mower
by Smyth - 14/09/24 07:26 AM
Victor Concept/Vantage 4 Stroke
by Dandare - 13/09/24 08:02 PM
Briggs and Stratton 171 cc oil issue
by Austech - 12/09/24 11:12 AM
need help with 6113\a69 rover tiller
by philmore - 10/09/24 11:57 PM
Honda GCV 160
by NormK - 09/09/24 03:21 PM
Rover rancher 2
by Wram - 07/09/24 01:05 PM
Topic Replies
Gardeners Choice with a Chonda
by NormK - 14/09/24 06:53 PM
Honda GCV 160
by NormK - 14/09/24 03:41 PM
need help with 6113\a69 rover tiller
by maxwestern - 14/09/24 12:04 PM
Help identifying Scott Bonnar mower
by maxwestern - 14/09/24 11:31 AM
Briggs and Stratton 171 cc oil issue
by maxwestern - 14/09/24 12:39 AM
Victor Concept/Vantage 4 Stroke
by Dandare - 13/09/24 08:02 PM
Rover rancher 2
by Wram - 07/09/24 01:05 PM
Log Splitter for sapwood removal only
by maxwestern - 06/09/24 09:55 PM
Victa Powertorque ignition coil wanted to buy.
by NormK - 06/09/24 04:13 PM
Scott Bonnar Model 40
by maxwestern - 03/09/24 10:03 AM
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Hop To
#9735 05/10/08 05:18 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 5,347
Likes: 31
Bruce Offline OP
Repair Junkie
****
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said,
"Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."


Regards,
[Linked Image]

Bruce


Please do not PM me asking for support. Post on the forums as it helps all members not just the individual.
Portal Box 6
Bruce #9750 07/10/08 01:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,362
Likes: 10
Administrator - Master Technician
****
Hey Bruce, well mate, they say it's a dogs life!! lol!! laugh
good1


Please do not PM me asking for support. Please post your questions in the appropriate forums, as the replies it may receive may help all members, not just the individual member.
Kindest Regards, Darryl grin



Moderated by  Bruce, Deejay 

Link Copied to Clipboard
September
M T W T F S S
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
Newest Members
Smyth, Ixiexai, cbrendan, Austech, Mkele
16,912 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums145
Topics12,754
Posts104,835
Members16,912
Most Online2,545
Dec 23rd, 2019
OutdoorKing Showcase
20 Bucks from FB Marketplace
20 Bucks from FB Marketplace
by Return Rider, February 20
Victa Cortina 2 Shed Find
Victa Cortina 2 Shed Find
by Return Rider, January 25
My Rover Baron 45
My Rover Baron 45
by Maxwell_Rover_Baron, April 16
SHOWCASE - Precision Mowers - 2021
SHOWCASE - Precision Mowers - 2021
by CyberJack, April 14
SHOWCASE – Atco Rotary – Paul C - 2020
SHOWCASE – Atco Rotary – Paul C - 2020
by CyberJack, December 28
HOME |CONTACT US
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5
(Release build 20201027)
Responsive Width:

PHP: 7.4.33 Page Time: 0.012s Queries: 19 (0.008s) Memory: 0.6656 MB (Peak: 0.6933 MB) Data Comp: Zlib Server Time: 2024-09-14 21:27:33 UTC
Valid HTML 5 and Valid CSS