OutdoorKing Repair Forum Forums General Discussion Forum Off Topics Joke of the day And that's how the fight started..

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's how the fight started...

Has anybody else got one to put up Ian

Hi Ian, that's a
keep 'em coming mate....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and

she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone

at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right

after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's how the fight started

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And that's how the fight started

Ha Ha! Ian....thats a ripper!

Ha Ha!
These are fantastic!


Kori

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else

to take care of xxx, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always

something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,

busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched

silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone

only a minute, and When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I

said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

This was the fight she who is boss won

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and

slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van,

and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was

blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,

and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into

the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up

to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,

"The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid

husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

Hi Ian...another

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started...

Ahaha Ian, That's another Corker!

Kori

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

Lmao! The fight may have started there,but with that comment I think there possibly could be no end!....too funny

Hmmmm, I've got an anniversary comming up

keep em coming Ian.

My other half is always saying �your deaf� NO I say only half deaf, I will prove it you.
Go to the far end of the hallway I will go to the other end and when you get there yell out a number
She yelled out 88
I meet her in the middle and said 44, see I told you I was only half deaf
And that is when the fight started

When your tried and you read a joke and still laugh until your eyes fill up with tears,then you know its funny.
Good work Ian.Don't know where you get them from but keep them coming.